5 Things Girls Might Do That Creep a Guy Out
93(Disclaimer: Sometimes I think I'm the last person who should be giving relationship advice. No, seriously. Don't listen to me. This is all based on my own experience, and I'm a weird guy. Still, I think plenty of it is universal. Anyway, with that said...)
There's a lot of talk about guys and the things they do that creep girls out during the courtship process. And, indeed, it is true, many a clueless guy has harassed and turned off a girl within minutes of meeting her without even realizing what he's done.
But let's turn the tables a bit. What is it that girls do when getting to know a guy that tends to turn him off or send him running? What can a girl say that will creep a guy out? Let's take a look:
1 - Talking About His Money or Status Too Much
Few guys want to be a bank account to you. It is only the guys who are totally desperate to impress that will flaunt their money at you in hopes that you will find them attractive. These men are also usually not the long-term rich kind of man, whose wealth coincided with his character-building; his fat pockets are usually the result of his parent's fortune or of some kind of dumb-luck windfall. For example, once I observed the following exchange at a fast food restaurant:
A young man approached the cute young woman behind the counter.
"Hey. How you doing?"
She smiled politely. "I'm good."
"So, what you are you up to? Just working and shit?"
"Yeah."
"Hey, you know I just won the lottery. I have a brand new car outside and everything."
"Okay."
She smiled throughout the exchange and tolerated his sorry attempts, but she remained, like most girls would, I imagine, largely unimpressed.
Similarly, a man who worked for his living is used to his own income and is unimpressed by it. No matter how much he makes, he's unlikely to think it's a lot. So even if you think it's a lot, it's unwise to talk too much about it. It will make you seem superficial and gold-digging. It will make it seem like you don't give him enough credit for who he is. It will also send him the message that you're one of those people who can't conceive or imagine living his kind of lifestyle as a normal thing, which would make it difficult for him to fit you in his life.
Yes, some men want to be "sugar daddies," but most men with confidence and self-esteem don't need or want someone who only sees the money and its materialistic rewards and who can't appreciate what he did to make the money in the first place.
2 - Talking About His Penis Too Much
It's true that most (read: all) guys like their penises. No matter how big or small or weird-looking or esthetically pleasing, it is a body part that a guy will have darn-near unconditional love for.
However, this love is very personal. Unless you are already a guy's romantic partner, or are an established candidate that is well on her (or his) way, talking about his penis too much before you've ever had a chance to see it, even if you have only nice things to say, is like talking about his platinum card or about how deep his bank account runs. It makes you seem cheap, and only interested in what he can do for you (in the case of penises, what he can do sexually; in the case of money, financially).
Now, most guys want to make their woman (or man) happy, but the key term there is their woman. If you are not yet his woman, why blather on about his body, something you do not yet have full access to?
In addition, it makes a girl appear kind of slutty if she is constantly making references to his penis or to sex. It also reveals the kind of company and the kind of men this woman is used to, if she assumes that men welcome all sexual advances, no matter how inappropriate and cheap they may seem, and no matter how much the advances have nothing to do with who he is as a person.
Yes, that's right. There are plenty of guys who want to be liked for who they are, and who just roll their eyes at misled women who think objectifying them will be a turn-on. (Now, there are men who are turned on by this, but they tend to be less mature and more superficial themselves. If this is the kind of guy you'd like to date, then ignore this point.)
3 - Talking About Getting Married When You Barely Know Him
Like in number 1, talking about marriage is like talking about his penis too much: If you are not his woman already, you don't really have "the right" to be talking about it. What he plans to do for the rest of his life is currently none of your business.
Also, it makes him think you might be one of those types of women who are desperate for marriage because your biological clock is ticking and you think your eggs are shriveling. My, what a great compliment to him: You want to settle down before it's too late, and he's the one available at this moment. Way to make a guy feel special and not like he's being used!
Also-also, there are a lot of guys out there, especially these days, who don't plan on getting married at all. If a woman mentions marriage too early, instead of as some kind of logical progression once they're actually together, it will make it seem like the whole goal and purpose of her relationship to the man was to get him to marry her. And, of course, this is not suitable for a man who does not plan on marrying at all, if the whole relationship is to be based on a future that doesn't exist.
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4 - Telling Him Other People Tell You He's Good at Sex/is Wealthy/Other Superficially Flattering Things
Similar to 1 and 2, this is instead telling him that other people have told you these things about him, i.e. giving him unimpressive compliments through other people. This is normally a bad move because:
1) It makes it seem you're talking to him only because of what others have said. In other words, you don't have the ability to form an opinion of your own.
2) You're only interested in him because of these superficial things about him you have heard. You only want him so you can use him for sex or money or whatever it was that impressed you.
3) What you are telling him you heard about him might not be true at all, or only partially true, or he himself never thought about it before. This can be interpreted as your setting a false standard that you expect him to live up to and that it's a condition to your liking him.
Either way, it has the potential to reflect badly on you. Avoid, unless you're dealing with a superficial guy who wants you to like him for small things that don't matter.
And finally...
5 - The Only Time You Talk to Him is if You're Flirting With Him
If the only time you talk to him is when you're actively and obviously trying to get closer to him, it will seem like you have no interests of your own besides him and no sense of self. This might be completely untrue, but remember that he only knows about you based on what he sees when you're around him, so, from his perspective, it might seem like there's nothing to you except your obsessive flirtations.
So show the real you, and he'll probably like it. At the very least he can decide whether the two of you are compatible or not in his mind. Where he will truly be making his assessment in this regard is based on the real you--who you really are--and if he can't get to that through the vast maze of superficialities, you haven't given him the chance. If he's talking to you, he probably does want to get to know you. Let him.
Other Hubs
- 5 Things Girls Do That Turn Guys Off in a Relationship
(What happens when you've already snagged the guy and are in a relationship with him? Something of a continuation on this hub.) - How to Have Confidence with a Woman (or Man) (or Anything and Anyone, Really)
- 5 Things Women Don't Know About Men
- How to Pretend to Ignore Someone That You Have a Crush On
- How to Meet Friends While Avoiding Creeps on Craigsl...
- What to Say to a Girl in a Store
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This is so cool TH! You are a springboard of information regarding guy advocacy! As a gay chick (one who adores her guy friends and family and men in general) i find this hub fascinating, no really. I had no idea that the flirting thing was a touch-n-go tactic? As a straight guys best Friend, we lesbians pride ourselves on giving guys the right information on how to bring men closer to their women. I just think it is so cool that you offer the 'inside scoop' for your female team. I guess if we lesbians are the straight guys best friend, then a straight guy can be a straight girls best friend! Who would know better than you the straight guy? Good stuff my friend, good stuff! Always impressed with your niche' hubs... in a self confident, non-flirting, don't want your money or your boy thingy kinda way... ;-)
Thanks for another great hub!
@dawnM Hey thanks!
@K9keystrokes Thank you! That means a lot coming from a gay chick, since I am one of those self-described "lesbros" who likes to hang around your kind. But the fact that you take any interest at all in my ramblings makes me smile.
I would agree. Here are a few other things that girls do that creep me out ...
- comparisons to pass male friends
- setting double standards
- tracking my time and space usage
Girls! I want them in my life ... it's just finding the right one is, well ... a hard thing to do.
Interesting points, it's the first perspective I've read on this subject from a guys point of view. =)
It depends on the women, each to their own. I do compliment guys when they try even though afterward they end up finding out I am taken and not single. I still wonder what makes guys come up to me or when I go out and the turn to look at me. It is just weird. I do make it obvious I am not single too.
I find it sad that that last one happened to me.
I'm happy though that I do none of the things listed here, if I was a guy and any one of these things happened to me, I'd be pretty freaked out
(Obviously a woman here)
Uncoditional love - number 2 LOL! Great hub, it gave me a good laugh!
This is great! For one, as kind of a weird guy myself, I love the disclaimer. Two, chicks are crazy. I guess I just need to find one with a level of craziness I can put up with. Sweet hub it was funny buy also so very true.
those women who judge by how much money a man has are really worse than prostitutes because a hooker will sleep with you and not tell you she loves you at the same time whereas a gold digger will. I have no respect for them
I like that. Talking about marriage when you barely know them is asking the size of penis. My GF did this. marriage, money and when they say negative things too. i hate all.
cool hub funny read!
i guess girls are freaked out too by guys who immediately talk about marriage
hahaha...very funny hub!
Now I won't be able to stop thinking about this when I go on my date
send mixed signals, change their minds for things like a night out, lie, yap or chat or text or whatever instead of showing attention to the date and their man, not be punctual,and on and on and on.
This is so true. Thanks for an informative "guys" perspective view.
I do agree with you on the marriage comment. There are woman who badger men about marriage. I had a friend who constantly bombarded her boyfriend about marriage until he finally asked her. I think he only asked to stop her bugging and constant comparing. Not because he was genuinely interested in getting married. That is when a marriage is doomed to fail. A man will ask a woman to marry him when he truly loves her and feels like he wants to spend the rest of his life with her. Not because he just wants to shut her up.
Good points. A lot of women would benefit from reading this.
Namaste.
I thought this was pretty funny. Hopefully, I will never witness some of those.
Loved this hub, some good points and funny as well - thanks for sharing :)
I admit! I'm guilty of number 3!!! :( I'll stop!!! lol
Nice hub and very interesting topic. I learn from this hub. Good information. I'll bookmark this hub. Vote this Up.
prasetio
omfg u know me too well haha i have been creeping guyes out too mutch then !!! crap!!
i hope my bf breaks up with me cuz i asked him out today.
This is an excellent hub - I'm a chilled out lass, and I absolutely never do any of the creepy things that you've talked about, which is why I'm perfectly happy and contented.
I think guys get a hard time, often unjustifiably, for being the ones who make relationships go bad - but I think a lot of women are completely nuts, and should try LISTENING to guys for a change!
A couple of these have happened to me before. I was in a relationship where, 3 days in, she says she wants to marry me. We were fourteen.
The other was around a year or so later when I had dumped the last girl and met a new one. At first it was great, because I was so superficial all I wanted was instant gratification (sex) around a month into this I realized that neither of us talked to each other unless we were horny. And i didn't want to have that kind of relationship, so I broke that one off. A few weeks after i realized that. (I still wanted sex, but not constantly, so I stuck around until I was sure I didn't want that relationship anymore.)
WoW dude. I actually had the exact opposite problem than all these points back in my younger dating days. I'll review briefly: 1) I was the guy out of all my friends that kept a steady job and had the means to treat a girl right , but none seemed interested because...2) they were too busy talking about the last guy and how good...you get the picture. 3) I was looking for someone a bit more tame who might want to eventually settle down but always got the qoute ' I want to party til I'm 60 and play the field" because... 4) They were thinking about the last guy still and complimenting them... AGAIN... 5)... and if I did end up dating the person anyway for a few months, they never had anything to say unless there was'something' to bitch about...Great hub anyway and funny how your problems were the opposite of mine.
Very good and to the point I liked it very much.Men are changing the way they think about sex these day. We are starting to think with the big head again. We, are starting to take our lives back. Thank you
Many woman tend that.
This hub is dead on! Especially the section about marriage. Many men (and women) are living happy, single, lives. The social pressure to get married, have kids, get a minivan and a mortgage, etc. is waning. With 55% of all marriages ending in divorce it's a crapshoot anyway. It's always a safe bet to leave marriage out of the conversation early on in any relationship. Great hub! Thanks!
Interesting observations. Most of us girls know that the quickest way to get rid of a guy we are not interested in is to start talking about marriage and having babies! Unfortunately some women can't help themselves and start talking to a guy they really like way too soon about commitment which just drives them away. I have heard friends start talking about how much they want to get married within minutes of meeting a man.
Hard to dispute any of your points here.
Thanks mel22 for your comments . I have same experience that you had. Time is very hard to get the right person to make a life partner where most of them , i mean boys and girls are running after outfit, status and metallic things which does not last long . They are experiencing a lot , still they can not understand what they have done.Shame on them . Thanks for the topic .
so true. I told my husband about a dream i had of us being married and he went AWOL for 3 months. what did i do? Luckily it got him thinking and we married a year later. lucky me
really great hub. it was cool to see the things which girls do instead of the usual guy stuff!
Very interesting most especially that it came from a guy's point of view. Voted up! Thanks for sharing! =)
interesting. voted up.
Interesting how many women need this advice. I would not have thought many ladies did these things (except the marriage talk-I can see that). Apparently needed info.
It is great to get the guys perspective on this hub! However here is more food for thought...
If you consider it a waste your time to start a relationship if you aren't on the same page concerning eventual marriage, babies, and financial expectations then that would be reason to bring all these things up early in the dating relationship. Maybe not on the first date - but at least objectively as early on as possible.
I think guys communicate they are shallow with each other when talking about hot women, penises and getting sex (they have a sex drive that kind of justifies at least the relentless thoughts about sex) and some women out of insecurity pander to that, thinking they are doing something that will get them the attention they want from a guy. If men have the experience that women only want a ring on their finger so they can relax and exact things from the man, it is understandable that an immediate conversation about the prospect would be creepy even with a hard-working willing-to-(eventually)-commit guy.
I think women communicate they are shallow when they talk with each other about wedding rings, and about hair color and shopping for clothes, jewelry, etc. They think a guy requires the looks (somewhat substantiated I think) and probably want a trade of financial "extras" to compensate, but don't realize that what they are looking for ultimately isn't in the "things" the guy can provide but security of another sort including unconditional love. Yet, if women have the experience that men they date are typically only out for a hot looking chick and the sex and no commitment while they believe in commitment and marriage, it is on the table right away if they bring it up.
If the more serious things like marriage, babies, and financial expectations does come up and the guy doesn't want to talk about it - even if it means saying, hey we just met so lets get to know each other first (not with sex necessarily, by the way); or the girl doesn't want to hear that kind of response - the time isn't wasted on the relationship from the get go and they can both walk away. If the conversation can be had - even if awkward, and they find they have completely different objectives they can end things there too.
Another problem that probably causes girls to bring up the marriage and baby conversation, is that girls typically think that once married or committed to in some concrete way they can just work on changing the guy to fit their expectations so the goal of marrying is the starting point. Buy the way, I believe guys think with a "forward" girl, they are going to get all the sex they want in a marriage if they are willing to consider it so they may be willing to talk about it at least. Statistics with divorces seems to indicate that things just don't work either way.
Any new relationship can be scary, but if the basic things wanted in a long-term relationship aren't addressed early on, both parties don't have the opportunity to choose to discuss it or walk away because they aren't compatible. The longer they wait, the more time and emotions are wrapped up in the relationship and becomes harder to just end the relationship; or it it becomes "complicated" as people in the "entertainment" industry would put it.
Just some additional food for thought from OnePersonsView.
I am woman and that creeps me out! Glad I am not one of the creepy ones...What I want to know "Thehands" is who took that stunning photo of you? What ripped abs you have my dear! I don't want to talk about your penis cuz that would make me get on the creepy girl list...but that thang is hanging out in your photo! Yeesh
@wifelv:
Haha. Funny you should mention that avatar. (Actually, you can't see Thor's penis in it. It's hard to see, but he's angled a bit away, and his leg shadows his crotch and blocks the view. I know, I know: such a shame that there's no actual nudity in spite of appearances. :P )
What ev! Much like men who can see though clothing and imagine...so can I! ( : U know you put that out there to make us women imagine. Naughty man, who's being the wonder lust now?
Yes, that's exactly why I put that image there; I'm not going to lie. You caught me!
Oh, now your getting creepy on me! O :
I can see the married thing creeping a lot of guys out. i'm sure most girls know when they have a fish on it takes a while to land him in the boat. :)
Oh, I felt creepy reading all these stuff!
I must say I have been guilty of all of those!!! Guess thats why I am single, and 24..... Ok, 32.....
enjoyed the read, and this will really creep you out-- i've been married for 40 years...bwahahah... what i observe is that there is a great loneliness out there that manifests as all that desperation to do whatever is on the tube... a misguided desire to be paris hilton or some other less than profound and noble person... not judging, just sayin...
Great hub, very well written thanks for sharing this.
Loved this hub, I am glad I spotted it in the Top Hubs where it deff belongs, nice one !
50th comment! I can easily say there's both sides to the coin on this hub but keeping with the content,
I would say that the first talk about shared accounts and money could spook some people ie unknown high debt or high equity
The marriage talk is a woman's way to talk about the future with their man, some women can't just help their selves about this topic well you can't blame us for that LOL!!
Nice hub, yeah beware of us women. We will rush you into marriage than complain what a bad husband you are!
You hit the nail right on the head. I couldn't agree more!
Haha... this is a hilarious post. Thanks for the article.
This is a very good hub. and very informative. look forward to reading more from you.
@OnePersonsView
Yes I agree. It's better to risk freaking out someone who you probably will not be compatible with anyway than waste time on the relationship. Of course, it has to be done subtly though.
The score for this hub is 100. Amazing. Good topic and I enjoy reading it.
I'll agree to these things but there are others in the top 10 too like having more than 3 kids from multiple partners, injection marks on the arms (druggie), or an upper lip stache.
Thanks for the tips!! I'm not on the market anymore, but when I was dating, this woman asked me to marry her on the fifth date. Definitely a turn-off. So your advice can apply to women looking for a guy, too (except for the penis part!)
I find it's usually the guys who start the penis talk...well, sex talk in general. Clue for guys: do not talk sex on the first date. Unless you're dating a skank, it won't be appreciated.
"Creep"
Any man who follows his heart's attraction and lets it show to a woman who doesn't find him attractive.
So very true, and lets face it, we do a whole lot more...that can creep out men, great hub, thanks
A great post, love it!!
Totally true! Word.
#2 had me cracking up.. That is some hilarious stuff. Sometimes truth if funnier than fiction.
Thanks
I liked the fifth - when you flirt with him everytime you talk to him and talk to him only when you flirt, he will surely freak out.
thanks now i will be careful
you didn't bring up aging.
Great truely hub! Thanks !
I really like your article. Very well thought out and so many truisms in this article.
Advice for most people is "be yourself" and you have covered that so well in your Hub. Well done.
But I have a question for you---if a woman is genuinely interested in marriage, when is it okay for her to bring that up? Like it or not, we do have a clock. It's not fair to a woman to be in a relationship with a man for a year before we find out he's not interested in marriage. My boyfriend asked ME on our first date where I stood on the issue, so it was out there. We didn't discuss it seriously until later, but at least we both knew.
I relate to your piece as a woman, because this what I have encountered alot from men. They have been the culprits in bragging about their wealth and the size of their penis. They have felt free to comment on all aspects of my body, even strangers in a grocery store. I am divorced less than a year and last week I got a call from the mailman that delivered mail to my former workplace!! I could not get him to divulge what nimrod gave him my phone number. He is in the process of divorce, he asked me out and then asked me if I had any interest in marriage. When I told him I'm not going out now and no, thanks to marriage, he promptly ended the call with "well, see you around".....not if I see him first. I enjoyed your write and surmise that, basically, the things that annoy me, annoy the males of the species, too. Maybe men and women are not so different after all, except for, in my case, the absence of the ever, fascinating penis.
Thanks for sharing. An eye opener for me. :)
thanks for the tips!
Well, I believe young guys don't think about marring a woman just to be with her. This days people just move in together and if it doesn't work fine they just go different ways, that's it. But probably guys don't want to feel attached to nobody.jeje; hello everyone!!!
haha maybe I'll use a couple of these!
WOW!
I can't believe these are things girls/women actually do, regularly. I've had a few guys tell me it was refreshing to be around someone down to Earth, and I also have had guy friends complain about these things, but it just blows me away that a chick would do any of those things unless she was trying to get ditched. There are many other ways to do that and still keep your dignity.
ahah
Great hub I will follow!!
Love!
I thought this was really funny - but remember ladies - you can use this info for your advantage - let's say you go on your first dinner date with a guy and he creeps you out - by the time the bill arrives just say, "thanks for such a great dinner - i can't wait to marry you!! Hah:) good one!
Good write up but will never do such thing to any guy i have not dated for a long time because he might think you are only interested in his money.
Guys do not stick with a woman over time, unless they do really like them. Sometimes their is a sticking point that they can not get past and most women will not allow it to be settled, changed or even discussed. The result is that they eventually do move on. A woman can grow on a man over time but we hate the feeling of being convenient because that is are nature to be exactly that. When both people feel special is where the magic happens otherwise it dies eventually.
Enjoyed the read and you are so right... although we all think of these things... I have learned to try not talk about them...
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Yes it would be good to stay on the topic of us, but women tend to be everywhere else. They also make the horrible mistake of comparing their relationships to everyone else's, their own insane dream minus you, called selfishness, and almost always run at the first sign of trouble not knowing this is the test of their relationship. I demand a re-write.
Just reading this. Boy did I make mistakes when I was younger. I guess I scared off a few men discussing marriage too soon! lol! I didn't realize that I was doing this. I'm so glad I didn't marry early, because in hind sight I know it wouldn't have worked out anyway!
dawnM 23 months ago
yes women tend to do that, great hub.