5 Things Women Don't Know About Men
92(Yes, I know some women know these things, but I submit that not enough seem to...
Oh, and by the way, needless to say, this article contains sweeping generalizations and does not apply to all men and women. Just probably a lot of them.)
1 - Men have emotions
We might not feel like we have to cry as much, or like we have to be held or protected, but we do have feelings. We may not wince visibly when you make us carry your emotional burdens, when you talk about ex-boyfriends, when you use us to vent every negative thing you've ever dealt with because it's easy to think we feel nothing when we don't show our cracks, but we're not made absolutely of stone. There's some softness in there, but it's small and it's in deep enough that you'd have to take some time to look if you ever wanted to see it. Of course, the moment we think you're looking for it is the moment we'll harden the most.
2 - Men do not "think with their little heads" / Sex is not meaningless to men
Sure, there are men who say this about themselves with a wink and a nudge. There are even men who honestly believe this about themselves. They are immature or weak and allow their body chemistry to control them too much. They use their supposed nature as a man to excuse stupidity that has nothing to do with it. No better than a woman who blames her violence on PMS.
Yes, we want sex more, on average, but to a good man it is not mindless physical release. It is done consciously and for a good reason. He will be picky. A good man doesn't want sex so badly that he'd allow women to use it to manipulate him or allow himself to give up his dignity or lower his standards for it. Besides, if there comes a time that he really needs release and cannot find a woman up to his standard, nature gave him lefty and righty for a reason. (And most men use them with frequency.)
Sex is not meaningless to men, but you'll have to excuse us if it has a different meaning sometimes than it does to women.
Men use sex in a lot more ways, I think, than women do. It is a much richer form of expression to us, and we can feel sexual desire for people and for reasons that have nothing to do with silly little superficial romances. But don't get me wrong; it has everything to do with love. It is about desire, not just for people, but for everything in life. A man feels his zest for life and his passion and his love oftentimes in his groin. This does not make him base and vulgar--it is merely the seat of much of his energy. A good man will use this energy productively.
3 - Men are not "intimidated" by powerful women or successful women
Now, there probably are some men (maybe even a lot) that are intimidated, but honestly, most men are simply not interested in any given woman's power or success. These are just not traits that normally attract men to women--they are largely irrelevant to his assessment of her. He judges her based on her feminine traits and barely anything else.
Keep this in mind: He doesn't care, especially if you're the type of woman who tends to refer to her own self as "powerful" or "successful" with no regard to how pompous she sounds. If such a woman is trying to date him, he won't be impressed by such things; that's not the side of the woman he wants to see. There's no need to be presumptuous and assume that his apathy is secretly fear of how great she is.
(Now, this is most men. Some men are of a minority that are attracted to women who exhibit power because of that power. You'll probably know these when you meet them. In either case, though, they're probably not intimidated, just attracted.)
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4 - Men know how to express themselves just fine
Often, men express themselves differently from women; this is likely the root of the misconception about how men don't know how to communicate. It is not that he doesn't express himself, it is that his thoughts are organized differently. Every man's brain is built differently, but in general a man will think differently from a woman. It happens. He might not make the same connections or draw the same conclusions as a woman on any given thing.
Detailing the specific differences between the male and female mind is a whole other vast subject and is best left to science. (i.e. Not this article.)
5 - Men are a lot more like women than you think
Like women, men have a nose, two eyes, a mouth, and a brain. They have similar feelings and thoughts and desires when it comes to life.
Sometimes, when you don't know what he's thinking, it might just be that humans in general can have trouble predicting what other humans are thinking at any given moment. It might have more to do with the vastness of the human mind than any gender differences. It might just be that people tend to over-explain little things that they can't figure out about someone on some stereotype about men or women, instead of coming to terms with the fact that some people are hard to predict and fit into a box because that's just the way they are.
It's important to remember that we're all individuals, but that we're a lot alike in some ways, regardless of the stereotypes.
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While, i found this hub an enjoyable read with some elements of truth. It seems as generalized as approaches that claim the opposite of what you present.
Some how I sense some defensiveness. Why is it that men need to show women that we are or are not one particular way or another.
It is in my interpersonal relationships with people that I show my capabilities to communicate, to demonstrate feelings, to be sensitive, and to think about the person in front of me and not his or her parts.
@davidisaiah: I admitted in the hub itself that there are stereotypes here and I made more than a note about what I thought was a generalization specifically.
If there seemed to be some defensiveness there, I suppose I can see what you mean. I admit this article is something of a response to ways that I have been treated personally. I'm a guy who considers himself very masculine, but because I do not exhibit a lot of behavior that is stereotypically male for my race and community (behavior that is really just a front, I think), I'm treated oddly and sometimes even less respected.
I suppose between the lines of this article is a big neon sign that says "Don't make the usual kinds of assumptions about me." Like you, I like to show people who I am one-on-one and have them get to know me that way; I don't like being shoved into a box and categorized.
However, there were some generalized things I did want to touch upon that I felt some women I've encountered just don't seem to get or seem hell-bent on making men ashamed about. Male sexuality, in particular, was one of them. But, again, like I said, what I said may not be true of all men--just men like me, and others I've met.
The hands, right on with the five things. Thank you for sharing!!!
great hub! i learned a lot of new facts i didn't know
I liked your hub! Yes as a woman I do agree with your maleness, I do think that there are many wonderful men out there. I also have to agree with the issue of sex and many wives seem to forget that a husband needs to connect with his wife this way and if he does not he feels as though she no longer loves him. great job expressing yourself...... and by the way, women are complicated and it's ok to be different that is what makes being a woman a woman and a man a man!!!
Hey liked your hub so much. Great work. Joining your fan club to stay connected and would like to invite you too.
Really good list. You make a good point, we are different not better or worse. Just different. It's the differences that make men so lovable.
Namaste.
I believe that these kind of articles or over-simplistic and too general to be honest.
My husband is the most wonderful man on the planet. When I found him, I knew I had a gem and I made sure to decide that I would remember to be grateful for him every day of my life. Thank you for reminding me to do that today.
This article is terribly flawed. Men have emotions, but they're reluctant to display them? Check.
Sex is more than just a physiological rocking motion? Check.
Men are not intimidated by successful women? Yes, actually, it is nice to see a sweetie who has a personality and conviction and wit.
Men communicate differently compared to women? Oh dear, not only is that self-evident, but then to take a stab at pinpointing some underlying neurological/endocrine mechanism is evidence of a very disjointed thought process you have there.
Finally, men are more emotional than they lead on? They are really alike women? Then, you start letting it go with a smattering that makes no sense whatsoever, but you just want to covey that men have some emotion in them, as your main point of this whole article.
All in all, you are arguing that men are just as emotional, or somewhat emotional like women, but they just communicate differently through some inherent biological mechanism?
Garbage.
This whole article is an example of how not to write a logically coordinated, inner-consistent argument.
I recommend you work on expressing your thoughts more effectively, because it could very well be that you have something poignant to say, but it is not being conveyed properly. If not that, you just hammer out some thematic sentiments that don't even make sense to me, and in the end, it's supposed to be bravo, what a man? I'm sure more than one fool will draw a tear of unison over this travesty of an article.
@Sullen91: Did you just not read my disclaimer at the top? That's exactly why I always have stupid little disclaimers up there--because of people like you taking it the wrong way and assuming I'm asserting that my generalizations are actually always true or that I'm hammering some sort of severe point. Not in this case, I'm not. I've made that more than clear, if it already wasn't clear by the humorous, light-hearted tone of most of my relationship-related articles. Read between the freaking lines. You fail completely to take into account the scope of my article.
Also, you fail to take into account the audience of this article, and that audience is obviously not you. The keyword in the title is "women." I assume that wouldn't be you, but I guess I could be wrong. Now, this is usually irrelevant, but in this case maybe not, since you seem to have taken something personal. There seems to be something there that doesn't ring true *to you* as a guy. (But it's true for me, so it hardly matters. I am only writing what I know from my limited experience in living, after all, and I made this clear already.)
It's all based on personal experience, yet I am called to prove why I make the assumption that there's an inherently innate difference between the way men and women think? Obviously, I came to this conclusion through observation of men and women, though going into depth about why I have these impressions or proving it with science is beyond the scope of the article, as I said. But alright then, since I have failed here, why don't *you* prove that there *isn't* any such difference, as you seem to be implying? I doubt you could, but, either way it's irrelevant because IT IS BEYOND THE SCOPE of this tiny, personal hub.
This is just a short, really, really general article that is in no way intended to apply to all men personally. That should be self-evident. People are different. This is just based on my personal observations. Gee whiz, this article attempts to prove very little or nothing, yet you're treating it like I've conducted some kind of lab experiment and am arguing that what I have come up with is the Lord's gospel truth and that everybody needs to listen to me or else.
Your pathetic little rant seems to have the kind of acid attached with a reaction related to some personal problem over the material. While reading the article, did you really pick up a tone that warranted a comment with a tone such as yours? They don't match at all. A completely different tone and intention.
That's like being someone who runs into a copy of "Everybody Poops," then proceeds to get angry and write a long-ass rant almost as long as the book about how the argument in that piece is totally flawed because it fails to take into account constipated people.
Furthermore, there's just not enough material in my article to warrant things you were going on about. Where the hell do you get most of that stuff? It just seems like you took some of the simple, general things I said and ran with them, constructing baseless strawmen as you went.
Now, your comment truly is a waste of (mostly your) time, but I'll let it stand, since I appreciate at the very least when people bother to comment.
By the way, if your intention was to get me to "see the light" and revise my hub or something, and it wasn't just mindless venting on your part, then you need to start working on your constructive criticism skills. Most people will just flat-out not listen to what you have to say the moment you start spouting worthless comments like that someone's hub is "garbage;" things that point no one in the direction of how they might improve and just serve to be insulting and provide you with self-satisfaction. You achieve nothing from that. Oh, wait, yes, I see at the very bottom after you were done with your rant you actually wrote one line or so that could maybe be interpreted as constructive.
Those are what we call shitty communication skills that you have there. All you seem to be doing is trying hard to be offended.
Anyway, be (apparently) offended all you want by the things I said or how I said them or by how they don't make sense to you or by how you think they're lame or whatever. They make sense to me at any rate. If they didn't, why would I have written this article? And if you could change my mind so easily, again, why would I have written it?
This article is about me, more than any other person, if you're really so dense as to be unable tell when people are conveying their personal perspective (which I was), as opposed to arguing a universal point (which I wasn't, in this case). There, I spelled it all out for you, since you seemed unable to pick up the obvious as you read along.
Go write a hub or something and stop wasting your time on things you don't like.
(Oooor, you could go to my article on how I think women should cultivate silky leg hair and proceed to take that too seriously, as well, and then write a ten-page counter-argument about its contents. The choice is yours.)
Dude, I respect you for posting the comment, since most people would not do so, due to their weak character.
However, consider that you are making light of your "personal" views, but at the same time, you are using a misleading title. You cannot speak for "men", if you are only giving your personal take. So, the title should read "5 Things Women Don't Know About Me." I'm not trying to be an asshole, but you can't make assertions about the way men and women think and simultaneously plead that this is only your personal take.
@Sullen91:
Like I said, I think I made it more than clear that it's my personal take, though I do think it can apply to more people than me, hence it could still have some degree of value to someone somewhere. Obviously, that still doesn't mean it applies to everyone, but that should be a given.
And, I think I failed to mention before that, yes, I agree that the article is vague and doesn't elaborate much and makes assumptions. But that's mostly due to its being so short, yet covering a subject that is so wide. That makes for a situation of "all sizzle, not much steak." So, yeah, it kind of sucks in some ways, I agree. But I did not intend to write a masterpiece or anything like that at the time that I wrote it, and frankly I have no idea how the hub has done as well as it has--go figure.
But I figure a hub that exists is better than one that doesn't exist, though, no matter how mediocre, and as it is unlikely that I'm ever going to bother to revise it, I did with it what I do with most of my hubs--I just let them exist and move onto something else. I try not to dwell on them too much.
The article is a very nice one but i think the writer had a great idea and tried to convey a "high in demand" information but lacked the skill to do it; all the same well done
This hub have more comments than the whole article, well i liked the things that women don't know about us, lol!
The commentary is definitely interesting. :) I have to say that I like the hub, but I also agree with Sullen91 on many points. I KNOW that there are men that have these character traits and interests that you speak of, but I also know and have experienced quite the opposite.
Next hub for you: dissecting the alpha-male. What you're combating here in this hub are the traits of a specific personality type that tends to get hyped up in literature and film and that's why we fixate on it so much as a society.
What I really liked about the hub: the part about women's power and men's apathy. That's spot on.
What I didn't like: men are a lot like women. That's just not true. I guess the term "a lot" is so subjective that it can't be argued. Men and women are very different in many ways, and similar in that we are basic human beings and share qualities in general.
All in all, good one for getting everyone talking!
It's refreshing to hear this being aired, hopefully by a man. I have known these things for a while and when I've brought it up to men they bluntly deny it and this leads to the battle of the sexes, I've learned my lesson though!
When referencing the nature of a man or woman I think the term needs to be further defined (i.e. mature man). Men who are intimidated by the success and confidence of a cultivated woman are little minded men who allow her accomplishments to reveal his fears and shortcomings. But men will be men and a mature man is a lived self-assured man.
I really enjoyed your hub. I thought it was well written and thought out. I also agree that us women really do not stop to think that guys have feelings too. I guess because guys are so good at hiding them. Thanks for the thoughts. I will share this. Feel free to look at my hubs and let me know what you think.
As with men and women there are stereotypes, that is sad. We tend to lump each other into one category or another, without regard for those who don't fit. Being a woman I have found myself defending my position more than once in this life, as I'm sure you have as a man.
Very informative Hub into the mind of a man. Thanks!
Very useful and makes alot of sense. Nice pics too. Well thought out!
I love your work, it is honest and very insightful. I've always said a man is just a woman turned inside out and visa versa. 5 things women don't know about men is wonderful. As a single mother I appreicate your helpful tips and facts. Peace :)
Awesome hub! Men are definitely misunderstood. Men are NOT just thoughtless beasts with procreation on the mind. There are feelings and thoughts that go deeper than men are given credit for. I think one of the main problems is that there are a few men out there who ruin it for the rest of us. As they say, "one bad apple spoils the bunch."
I have to disagree. On everything. Just because.
:) Actually - great Hub, and the way the sparks flew just made it a thousand times better.
I don't agree on all points, but you're an erudite fellow, and well spoken.
Definitely a good read!
Personally, I like this Hub. I think it's open and honest. I know men have feelings even if many of them do not like to show them. I found your comments on the male attitudes about sex very interesting and the Hub in general most refreshing as it does not stand on sterotype and is well written. Thanks for sharing.
Very good subject here. It's sometimes hard to figure out specific humans instead of going by the gender. Men are just like women too, with feelings and fear for the future as well. Good hub.:)
I agree with No 3. I also from experience have found that men don't really care if you're powerful woman or not. In fact most men resent powerful women because most powerful women use their power to hide their true nature, that's why most men don't pay much attention to powerful women.
Interesting hub. Thanks for brightening my exceedingly boring and dull Monday!
Thanks for the glimpse of men, I can hear ya, men have feelings too, and they can see the feminine side not "how powerful women are ". Thanks a lot, Maita
I found your hub to be refreshing.
Some people wear their hearts on their sleeves.
Most men do not, nor do all women.
For those of us who do not, it does not mean we are without them.
We all need to reminded of that from time to time.
Wow! Very interesting and informative!
Great read. I've experienced every one of those scenarios and reading someone else who experienced the same thing resonates so well with me. Thank you for the post!
@Sullen81
"I'm sure more than one fool will draw a tear of unison over this travesty of an article."
Guilty. I'm trying to figure out what it is that backs up your disagreements. It just seems you're being a contrarian for the sake of being a contrarian and attacking something everyone else seems to like.
I really enjoyed this hub. I think we all get caught up in the stereotypes and forget about reality. Especially when the media reinforces these stereotypes. In addition, us women have to examine our selection process before we blame our romantic failures on the male sterotypes.
Men are all different but they do have feelings. It takes just the right woman to know how to get to them.
Good Hub thehands!!!
Wow this hub really awesome. Enjoy reading this.. nice thehands..
As a mother to two men and a partner of another one I can only say thank you for an excellent Hub. We are a lot alike and stereotypes are tiresome.
thehands, I particularly like that you included #3. It's one of those things that's so true, but most men don't want to say it. Good hub!
Nice article and i quite agree whatever you said in but disagree on what you said about men not been intimidated by powerful women.In fact,at the sight of a very influential and powerful woman,a man can even drop death because women are on longer the weaker vessels in this era but can do what so ever the men can do.
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K9keystrokes Level 7 Commenter 23 months ago
I really like this article! Many times we women get so caught up in being women that we forget to really understand our men. This is well done and presented with a strong yet emotional facet. I will share this hub. Thank you for caring about men enough to share.