How to Pretend to Ignore Someone That You Have a Crush On
81How to Pretend to Ignore Someone That You're Actually in Love With (And not have your crush ignore you back)
So it has come to this. Being an adult about things and being dead-obvious, dead-honest about your feelings serves you no purpose because 1) The person you're dealing with has the emotional maturity of a five-year-old or 2) You have the emotional maturity of a five-year-old or 3) You're both actually five-year-olds. In either case, you have no choice: You must play the push-pull game and make the person you fancy feel ignored for at least some period of time. Ignoring them first means your crush is unlikely to ignore you back, and you have the upper hand. This may seem difficult at first, but, really, with a little restraint it can be quite easy by following these basic tips:
1 - Stare at them with the side of your eyeball
Making it clear that you're looking at them is no good--they might get the wrong (or is it right?) idea that you really do have some kind of special interest in them. Even if you're the kind of person that normally watches people, regardless of your level of romantic interest, stop it; make a special exception just for them and stare at everyone except the object of your desire.
The problem with just not looking at them altogether, though, is that you'll never be able to see what they're doing or read as much from their body language, because you'll always be turned away from them. The solution to this problem is to watch them with the side of your eyeball--that is, your peripheral vision--so that they are always to some degree in your line of vision and you can be as creepy as you want, but they'll never know it.
2 - Be overly formal with them
Rather than act familiar, like you guys are buddies or something ludicrous like that, confuse your love by being really stiff and polite with them. If you bump into them, say excuse me in a monotone voice that echoes from the core of your being that you don't care about them and could never want them.
Also, don't use their first name when you address them. In fact, don't use their name at all if you can help it--just use "you" a lot. In fact, if you can just avoid addressing them altogether, it's even better.
3 - Only say "Hello" or "Goodbye" in response to their own greeting
And even then only sometimes--pretend you don't hear them and say nothing at least 30 to 50 percent of the time.
Those times that you ignore them completely may make them feel dumb or may make them wonder if you're angry about something. Good. The more they feel any kind of emotional response where you were the cause--any emotion at all--the more they'll find you irresistible.
Sure, there's a chance they might just think you're a jerk or something, but that chance is so astronomical it's barely worth mentioning. The only time something like that could ever happen is if the person you like has this thing called "self-esteem" or something like that. Crazy, I know.
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4 - If you have mutual friends, make it a point to talk to your desired love only through them
If you ever have anything to say to this crush of yours, anything at all, try to avoid talking to them directly as much as possible, even if they're right next to you. Instead, use someone else in the room who knows the both of you.
For example, let's say that your lover-to-be is named Jane Doe. A conversation on a typical group outing might potentially go like this (ideally, Jane is standing very obviously within earshot and it is very clear that you can see her):
"Hey, Bill, before I go in to order, does Jane want a sandwich, too, or is it just the two of us?"
Now an alternate method can be more affective, if combined with the right tone of voice (which would be no tone at all); omit Jane's name altogether:
"Say, Bill, does she want a sandwich too [don't look at her when saying this], or is it just us two?"
Or, potentially even better, if it can be pulled off without being too vague--omit any direct reference to Jane altogether and only refer to Jane through implication:
"Oh, Bill, before I order, is that going to be two or three sandwiches?"
Everyone knows Jane is the third sandwich, but it's more powerful because you've made her feel like you're so indifferent that she may as well not exist because she's not even worth mentioning.
5 - Have your crush "feast on scraps," so to speak
Every once in awhile, throw them a bone, if you will. In those very rare moments, act familiar and actually normal with them, or do something unusual like actually calling them over to you by name.
If you have done all the other things detailed in this article, they should be so in love with you that they'll feel a little thrill just getting any tiny bit of attention from you. Use this reward system wisely and only do it randomly to keep them guessing, and/or when they've done you a favor and it would be too obvious if you didn't even at least say thanks.
But don't overdo it; remember, it's always better to have them eating out of your hand instead of the other way around, where you're wondering why your crush ignores you. Make them feel unwanted and they never will.
There you have it. Following this advice, they should be in your arms in no time--just make sure it's a stiff, indifferent embrace.
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@JenniferT: Yes, that would probably work, too! Independence is attractive no matter who you are.
Very impressive tips. I am already trying this unknowingly on my crush. But i will do it more properly. She will be in my arms surely. :)
Very funny!
Great, hilarious hub. (I don't really mean that.)
: )
Seriously, the "staring with the side of the eyeball" really cracked me up. I'm following and looking forward to more hubs!
the staring of the eye is really crepy bcuz they r satring at u when u dont know. creeping!
hahahhahahaha!!! @BennyTheWriter and @Wolfoflife I agree completely. And I could comment on this article, but this sounds advise you'd give to a fairy in a fairy tale, or a girl in a Disney movie.
too funny. thanks for the laughs.
Ha ha, after reading your hub I've realised that the 'creepy' bloke at work probably thinks that the reason I try and avoid him at all costs is that I have a massive crush on him. Eurrrrgh, well I guess I know now why he won't leave me alone and seems to be getting more familiar the more I try to ignore him!
Ohhh no!! I do this stuff already by habit, it doesn't push guys away does it? I hope it doesn't have the opposite effect of what I want :(
Thanks thehands for this wonderfully and well written piece of work. Your points are well noted, especially for the ladies, for the guys the steps can be even more powerful if you know how. I met this young lady recently, we both have a crush on each other, she's a snub, I'm a bigger snub. I used the steps above and I've lost the count of dates we've had. But one thing is that dont overdo things, or you might risk losing her or him, every thing in life needs moderation, this too.
hahahahah..i did love this..before i dint know how to handle such a situation but am grateful now i know..gud job there n thumb up!
Great work. I'll be sure to try some of these when I see my crush again. Thanks a bunch for the advice.
_THN_
To me, all these things are obvious when done to me. Might work for some, though...
Ingeniously written and hilariously explained! Thumbs up, voted up and followed.
Would this really work ? if not 100%, at least 50 + percent?
I've done this to my crush even before I read this (and he had reactions like-felt dumb and wondering if i was angry - something like that - and such just like what is written in this hub)
Would this really work? I wonder why he still doesn't show that much of like ... he cannot resist me or something close to that ... I've done almost everything stated here, suprisingly, even before I read this.
By the way, really nice and very funny hub :)
it does'nt work...
hear! i like it..
I never got the point of this, someone will only be interested for a very limited period of time if you are obviously ignoring them, that just gives the impression you dont even want to bother getting to know them.
If someone likes you, acting like you dislike them is only going to cause them lots of worry and confusion, possibly pain if you keep it up too long. Become friends with them, but dont make it obvious you like them, maybe. Besides, how are you meant to like someone you dont even know/refuse to talk to?
I do all the time to guys I like, but I haven't been successful.....until recently. It's kinda obvious (to me at least) that I ignore this one guy and talk to everyone else. I laugh and act kinda flirty with everyone else, but with him I'm like (straight face and indifference). I've heard he thinks I hate him, but we do have our moments of friendliness and lately he's been coming up to me more trying to joke around....idk i think this work sometimes, we'll see, lol
works until she finds out ur ignoring her, and accuses of why ur ignoring her, say ur busy with stuff, talk for a few days and reignore until she comes bak:P
uffffffffff it is a horrible feeling
It doesn't work. My crush ignores me like this to the letter. It has been going on for way too long (years) and I'm starting to really not like him. I could end up hating him even but I'll probably just move on once I find someone I like who makes me feel valued and makes me feel happier.
I'm kind of confused. Ignore the person you have crush on and than they will find you interesting. C'mon. It sounds rather impossible. I'll try it though. Desperation arose so suddenly. But what if it actually doesn't work?
This works with anybody. I've always done this from time to time. Be VERY careful with it. You can really hurt and confuse the one you are in love with.
It works best when you first give them a lot of attention for a period of time. Then suddenly pull it away. They will feel a void and get insecure and miss you. They will notice something has changed in their life. When you push away they will pull toward you trying to figure out what is going on or trying to get back what was lost. Perhaps they didn't even realize what they had until it was gone. This will help them to see that.
Do not do it for very long. If you do it for to long they will eventually get used to it and forget you. And don't come off as mean. Be ready to give in and be very nice if/when they reach out to you.
The object of your affections may also secretly love you and be unsure. They may already be really frustrated and unsure of your signals. This could really hurt, frustrate, and discourage them even more. Use it carefully and be observant of their reactions. Be ready to quickly accept attention and show appreciation again.
Especially be careful with doing this with shy girls. A lot of them are already very insecure and would never pursue anyway even if they have strong feelings for you. If you do it at all with a shy girl be more subtle with it and a shorter amount of time (or maybe not at all and find another plan). The most you might get with a shy girl is to catch her staring. All the while she's left confused and hurt and feeling helpless.
LMAO....Too good! Nearly fell off my chair laughing too hard :D
I proposed a girl then she loved me bt she said that to me she already have a boy friend i tell her that i dont care about your boy friend i care about u, then i agree with her that i will dated u even if your dating to your boy friend then she agree bt we only dated one week then she dumped me she said she want to go back to her old boy friend so now i have no one i still love this girl. So how can i get her back?
wait are you serious?
Is this supposed to be satire? Because frankly this comes off as you having an incredibly bad social disorder.
"emotional maturity of a 5-year-old"... yes. satire.
I do this when I'm afraid someone thinks I like them and I don't (I'm naturally really friendly, and guys tend to get the wrong idea) and they might be offended/disgusted... I do have really bad social anxiety in certain situations, and it's something I'm trying to get over. Haha, thanks for showing how ridiculous it must look!
This might actually help. But this isn't what I'm looking for... What I'm looking for is help, why? Because yesterday at school, I have a best friend and she likes my crush (she doesn't know I like him though) and our friends kept saying that he likes her... It's hurts me to think my crush likes someone else... At the dance I was with my best friend and she said, "he is staring at me!" I smiled at her... I was thinking maybe he was staring at me and she probably got the wrong idea
what happens when you want to really be with this person that you are ignoring,they are going to think that you are crazy and anyway why can't you just be yourself and not play any mind games. why play a mind game just to get someone to fall head-over-hills for you, sounds like an insure person to me. it may seem fun but, for how long. i'll be scared people are crazy out here in this world.
@ sary
I totally agree. But for me nobody knows I like my crush... I've kept it to myself
@scary
You are ignoring this person because they don't feel the same as you do. When you start to ignore a person you previously have given a lot of attention to, they will start to wonder; why is he/she ignoring me? And they might even fall in love because they suddenly start to realize that they do care for you more than they thought and that they actually miss you! Many people do this push and pull technique wihtout even realizing it and it does work because often we want something we can't have. When we can't have a specific person's attention anymore, we want it back.
Gals...if i were a guy with a crush on a gal and if she behaved this way instead of dropping hints.i'd rather run away...
JenniferT 23 months ago
I would like to add a #6, if you will permit me to do it, and it goes like this:
talk about yourself (not arrogantly, of course), your future plans, aspirations, hopes, etc... in a lighthearted tone that shows your love interest that you really do have other things going on in your life besides him or her.
Mention current events in your life that would draw crowds from miles around, just to listen to you. Be the alpha-male or female that makes no excuses, and needs no prompting from your OTHER to make life happen for you.
People are drawn to leaders, not followers; so, if you want that special someone to perk up and pay attention... BE that person who is worthy of their attention, and accept no less as the vibrant, progressive, and fun-loving woman or man that you are.